If I were a painter, I believe that I must have painted quite a number of beautiful paintings for others. I guess that must be the best analogy to describe myself. In doing that, I have yet to paint something that I really want.
It is much easier to please others rather than having to argue with them. Especially when they are the people whom we love.
For as long as I can remember, I have been doing just that - to please the people that I love so much.
Now that most of them are no longer with me, I thought that this is the time to paint my very own painting. To use whatever colour I want, to paint the canvas as and when I like it. All of a sudden, I was the given the best paint, the best brush, and the best canvas and I get to put all that I have ever imagine of - and call it my very own painting.
I wish it was that easy.
And yet, there is still a hand trying to guide the stroke of my brush. There is still an irritating voice dictating how the whole picture should turn out to be.
For once, I really want to do what I have always wanted.
3 comments:
Salam Kak Nisah.
Just follow you heart. Paint what you want not what others want.
Norah Jones-inspired? :D
Hurm.
How to put this into words?
I think, even famous painters like Johannes Vermeer and others didn't have absolute freedom in pursuing their creative works.
They were commissioned, thus they had to please whoever the commisioner [if there's such word] was. They cannot not obey, because commission means money. Or for Vermeer, feeding his eleven children. [But View of Delft and Girl with A Pearl Earring did turn out good, aye?]
Since you don't depend on 'those' people, I say let them be. You go on pursuing your way as you want.
Sometimes, even the 'higher' people could be wrong!
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